Casual Convos with Claire

*I want to start off with saying that this is going to be somewhat intimate... My purpose is to bring awareness and to dismantle the stigmatism associated with blame and shame. Bren é Brown says, “Empathy’s the antidote to shame. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too .” This is why I am sharing this... to say I'm with you. I also don't want you to feel like your story is diminished by mine or take away from your experiences. I think that society has placed some assumptions about dating and "hooking up." If you are on the app, you are there to get action. But I also know that I've gotten a fair amount of unsolicited inappropriate pictures. I don't know if it's ego or what but really I don't need to see the nether regions to decide if I like you enough to go on a date with you. I guess you could say I like what's in the brain more than looks. But I digress. Anyway, I really wasn't seriously looking but more just monkeyi...

I was listening to music on Spotify when I came across this song. JJ Heller's Braver Still  Lately I've found that music has been feeding my soul, whether it's my connection to God or whatever is beyond us, I do not know. I encourage you to listen to the whole song because it is beautiful. The first verse really struck something inside me, so I'm sharing it. "I never saw it coming There was no way to prepare The world kept spinning 'round me And left me standing there And it's okay to grieve A life that could not be I'm trying to believe In something better" This. This is everything. This is life. You can only control so much. You can only plan so much. Now don't get me wrong, I still get bogged down with these notions because I'm only human. I have anxiety, I am a creature of habit. But it's the last two lines that remind me that belief or faith is critically important as well as action. There is a lot that I can't...

I’m feeling sad tonight. I stupidly decided to clean out my photos to free up some space. Inevitably, I saw photos of people who are no longer in my life, have died, and are just gone for an extended period of time in the case of my mother. It’s weird, there can be days where I don’t think about anyone who I miss and then there are days where it’s insurmountable. I wish I could talk to them and get a response back. To hear their voice.  I’m pretty sure no one is going to see this because I’m not posting on my Facebook. But that’s okay.

If you are at all religious or know religious people then you know that today is Ash Wednesday. It's the precursor to Easter Sunday and the beginning of the liturgical season, Lent. The idea behind it is that you remember that your life will end one day. So what's this salt and light business? It comes from the Bible, which I know isn't something that people gravitate towards, especially us young adults but the meaning is transcendent in my opinion. I'm going to paraphrase Matthew 5:13-16 (click on it to read the actual passage). There are two main ideas, be salt and be light. Obviously it's not literal but rather metaphorical. Let's talk about what salt is and what it could mean. Salt is a chemical compound that is added to add flavor, preserve, melt ice, etc. We are called to serve, to lead, to love, and to be stewards of God's unconditional love. Light is the absence of darkness. It's visible and warm. When you are accessing your inner light, you c...

Back story: I'm a Chinese American. My parents adopted me when I was 15 months. I look Asian. My parents are both Caucasian. I grew up in a white American culture. The most Chinese I am is the stereotype that I like noodles and rice. Besides being tan skinned with black hair and being short. I also know maybe three words in Mandarin Chinese. Flash forward to today, I am in the grocery store trying to figure out what to feed myself this week. I am by the rice, because it's pretty easy to make and it doesn't take too long. I was approached by a guy who was a good 10-15 years older than me. I didn't think anything of it, then he started talking in some Asian language. He wasn't talking slow either. As he's talking he starts moving towards me. Finally, I just ended up walking away. I think it's interesting that the majority of racism is from a different race not the same. Is it even racist if someone assumes someone else's race or ethnicity based on phys...

*My intention is to continue to share my story, which may be like yours and may not. I am currently living at my childhood home with my mom and cats. My mom has left for a well deserved vacation in Palm Springs, CA. I'm jealous too, but that's not the point. I think that most young adults would love the chance to be without their parent(s). It's a chance to have friends over, throw a party, having freedeom. Now don't get me wrong, I love having "freedom" to leave the cat toys out and not having to worry about the volume being too loud. But it's also got some downsides too. As some of you know, I have struggled with generalized anxiety and depression for a while. It's funny (not really), but there isn't a specific cure. You can do all sorts of things to help manage symptoms, but you can still have bad days or the little voice in your head can be slightly louder than the rational one. Depression is basically riding a wave. There is a period of ri...